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Solutions 2 minimize conflict 4 non-white males and females

 
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aza



Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 27
Location: Philadelphia by way of DC

PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:37 pm    Post subject: Solutions 2 minimize conflict 4 non-white males and females Reply with quote

This is the beginning of a list for when non-white males and females are attempting partnership or marriages with one another. Please add on


1) Stop lying to ones self about the reality of one's condition
2) Admitting that one is a victim of racism [white supremacy] and need help in becoming a better person
3) tell each other everything or nothing
4) as one other what are their expectations of you in the relationship
5) define everything
6) Ask Questions Ask Questions Ask Questions; be careful in making statements versus questions
7) do not assume anything again ask questions
8) find productive things to do that aid in countering racism [white supremacy]
9) find out what each other goals are and how you can aid one another in achieving those goals
10) maintain effective communication (no yelling, name calling, or cursing during conflict)
11) establish perameters/boundaries if neccessary
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Edward Williams
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Joined: 12 Apr 2003
Posts: 3077
Location: I am from everywhere I've ever been and everywhere I've never been

PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 11:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent idea. I'll add some when I return.
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Josh



Joined: 19 Apr 2003
Posts: 796
Location: Closer

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SUGGESTION:

12. If neither of you attend a formal "church"; work with your partner to make up your own church and attend it once a week.



REASON: Each person can get comfortable using words in a manner to reveal truth and using truth to produce justice in front of each other.


It is not logical for a person to lie to the Creator of all that is known and unknown.

A person cannot be criticized for refusing to lie to the Creator of all that is known and unknown.



Josh
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aza



Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 27
Location: Philadelphia by way of DC

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is a good one. The production of church can be a time to attempt to produce justice and come up with ways to establish justice in the system of racism [white supremacy].
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Edward Williams
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Define church.
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Josh



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PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 1:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Church: One or more persons attempting to communicate with the Creator of all that is known and unknown.


Josh
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aza



Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 27
Location: Philadelphia by way of DC

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

13. when your partner does or says something incorrect, ask them "Was that the best thing to say or do?" Do not attack the person (your partner)
14. Remember that as non-white people we function as NIGGERS-a person who is mistreated on the basis of color by a white person who practices racism [white suprmacy] and if your partner is trying to become a better person, they are trying to stop being niggerized in behavior (the way we've been taught to act), so do not take the behavior personal all the time.
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Edward Williams
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Joined: 12 Apr 2003
Posts: 3077
Location: I am from everywhere I've ever been and everywhere I've never been

PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 1:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

15. Never accuse your partner of lying. Always say that what was said was incorrect. Behavior can change. It is best to say that what was said and/or done was incorrect.
16. Never say that something that was said and/or done was incorrect without offering a suggestion as to what the correct thing to say and/or do could be.
17. Always, or if at all possible, put suggestions to your life partner in the form of questions or ask your life partner if what was suggested would be the best thing to say and/or do.
18. Always ask your life partner for help when you need help and when you think you are going to need help and make sure you use the word HELP.
19. Make certain, all decisions that you make as an individual that will affect you and your life partner as individuals and/or as a team, are discussed by you and your life partner in great detail prior to the decision being made.
20. Try to make contact with your life partner at least three times a day and be prepared to solve a problem and/or say and/or do something of constructive value.
21. If there are any offspring, make sure when the child sees one "parent" the child sees both "parents". It is of extreme importance that all offspring are not able to play one "parent" against the other.
22. If there are any offspring, make sure you do not argue with with your life partner in the presence of your offspring and/or where your offspring can hear you. By doing so you pass on non-constructive communication techniques to your offspring.
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